Gail Kasper is an Author, Television Host, Certified Fitness Trainer, and Motivational Speaker
You might hate the gossipers, but you might be one yourself - most men and women spend more than half their daily conversation gossiping. Gossips are rather plentiful in our lives. And what you need to know is how to escape one once they have you in their verbal grasp right? The alternative is that people may be trying to escape you.
To remove your self from a conversation with a gossip you must first consider why the person is a gossip. What is it that gossips gain from their behavior? Typically they feel some sort of social bonding, or they feel important because you want to know what they have to say. That power or closeness, to matter to another person is what they really want feel. Keep this in the back of your mind while planning on how to deal with the person next time you have a run in with one another. Sometimes understanding their motivation helps to let you know the best way to leave the conversation.
Ask yourself this as well, is this a person I do not mind offending? The answer can really make a drastic difference in how hard it is to escape the gossiper. It is much easier, for example, to avoid or escape someone if subtlety is not the name of the game and you do not care if you spare their feelings. Much more care is required if you want to flee the gossip and keep your close relationship intact. The following tips reveal how to deal with a gossip with sensitivity and subtlety.
Escaping while sparing the gossips feelings- really? I say, if they don't care about others feelings, why should you care about theirs? But here are a few ideas to get you by:
1. A general all around trick, though it won't get you away from the person, is to change the subject. Just move right along to some legitimate topic of news or discuss upcoming plans. Bring up anything non-personal that is light in subject matter and importance.
2. Try asking the person a distracting question about something pertinent to the moment, for instance ask if they are thirsty, do they know when the next work meeting is, what they might like for lunch, etc. Bring up anything to focus them on the moment.
3. If they have dived right into the topic, you can try this quick interjection. Start with, "I'm sorry I don't really want to discuss that" and before their face falls say "but I'd love to talk about ______." Fill in the blank with any gossip free subject.
4. You can also attempt to reflect the gossip's opinions back to them. Say, for example, "You seem really upset or interested in this, huh?" Keep them feeling like you are listening. Then, hopefully, after enough of this reflective discussion you can attempt to politely excuse your self.
3 Tips to Live Free From Gossip and Rumors
Are you wondering how to keep gossiping folks out of your life in general? If you don't want to deal with them at all the easiest techniques are these.
1.Avoid places in your life that people congregate to "chat" about the newest gossipy news. Keep away from these places and you'll keep away from gossips.
2.Make notes of those people you've met who are indubitable gossips. If it is your goal to avoid all gossip, then you must effort to avoid going where these people are most often.
3.Don't gossip! This is essential to creating a gossip free lifestyle obviously. But its really true, follow your own advice and people will see you as above gossip. They probably won't approach you because they already perceive you as not interested.
Those are most of the more subtle tips and tricks. Less subtle, but effective, ways to escape or avoid conversations with gossips that might lose a few friends can be found on the audio Escaping Conversations with a Gossip: Tips, Tools, and Strategies! This includes 5 bonus tips!
About Gail Kasper:
Mid-1998, Gail Kasper started her business from a small one-bedroom apartment, with no money and no clients. Today, Gail is the host of the late-night television show Raw Reality, one of the nation's leading speakers, author, Top 1% Club Mentor, advice columnist, Certified Fitness Trainer, Ms. Continental America 2008, and the creator of SAD-T™ (Systematic Attitude Development- Technique™). A former Contributing Editor to Success Magazine with the "Ask Gail" column and host of the "Ask Gail" segment on the Comcast morning show, Gail is the author of her self-help autobiography Another Day Without A Cage: My Breakthrough From Self-Imprisonment To Total Empowerment and the self-help parable Unstoppable: 6 Easy Steps To Achieve Your Goals. With national media appearances that include Inside Edition, The Today Show, FOX Business News, and Oprah and Friends, Gail has earned the ranking of an in-demand national media personality who has been the topic of discussion on Regis and Kelly. Also, the current host of the Philadelphia Visitors Channel, she has also made numerous appearances on network affiliates that include ABC, FOX, CW11, Comcast, and CBS, where she co-hosted the Emmy award- winning America's TVJobNetwork. www.gailkasper.com
This article is courtesy of the Top 1% Club and the Top 1% Club Mentor Gail Kasper. For additional information on Gail Kasper, her television appearances and speaking engagements, please visit gailkasper.com.